An Ode to the Gove

An Ode to Micheal Andrew Gove

Mr Gove, just so you know, I am not a Tory,
If anything, I'm centrist labour (but not a fan of shouty Corby)
Despite this mate, I hate to say it, but you actually did some good,
You released us teachers from bad ideas, as any leader should.

I don't want to appear sycophantic, to a man who resembles a salamander,
But well done for reinstating knowledge and emphasizing good behavior.
It took some balls to take on the blob, and recognize a simple truth,
Teaching is mainly explaining stuff and making sure it's fully understood.*

The consultants, of course, remain arrayed, they will never be far gone
with their Maker Space phraseology, and 21st Century STEAMY jargon,
But thanks to you we can speak to kids, chalking as we go,
Setting little quizzes, to check what it is they know.

I left the UK in 2010, when " just google it" was all the rage
If there was one thing that was frowned upon, t'was the sage upon the stage
Govey you'd been listening to Avril Lavigne, it doesn't have to be so complicated!
We can teach like no one's watching! Without our lesson needing to be rated.
It's a joy to not have to persuade kids to behave, by acting like a clown,
And to reinstate that favorite tool the glary teacher frown.

I left the UK after a chubby kid, slapped my bald spot before the bell,
What did the SLT in charge say?" what a shame, he'd been doing so well!"
I had an Ofsted inspection, so I triple marked my books,
And I said five nice things for every bad, eschewing all textbooks.

I did an engaging group work lesson, "guiding from the side" like a berk
And it was rated outstanding because "the kids did most of the work"
I planned stimulating classes, to engage my Kinaesthetic learners,
With differentiated tasks, of which they were the owners.

We practiced the generic skill of testing, like there was no tomorrow
Talk about teaching nothing! It was that "skills" curriculum that was narrow!
We don't need to be trad to see that knowledge matters to cognition,
So I can keep doing mindfulness and have a human values mission.

Now given that austerity is supposedly left behind and in the past,
Can you have a word with Hindsy about giving heads some more cash?
We promise not to waste it on interactive whiteboards, Mr Gove!
We'll spend it on textbooks and wages, and stuff to reduce workload

* "retained in long term memory" doesn't really rhyme here, does it?